"Agape Wars Continue."
"Oregon City Gets New Bath House."
"Wall Banger Declares War on Literacy."
"Employees Read Parking Lot Lines Like I-ching."
"Conservative Billionaire Turns San Juan into Ghetto."
"'Trans Kids Can't Have Abortions!!' Activist Exclaims."
"Conservatives Organize Pee-In for Alex Jones Lecture."
"Geraldo to Expose JFK Files Live on Tea Party Livestream."
"Bush Family to Lecture About Parallels With Roman Empire, by 2113."
"LDS Church Cedes GOP to Scientologists."
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